“A take-no-prisoners assault on the male literary establishment.”
-Grady Hendrix, New York Times bestselling author of The Southern Book Club's Guide to Slaying Vampires and The Final Girl Support Group
From the brilliantly funny (and rightfully furious) creator of the viral Men Write Women Twitter account.
Let's face it, women's representation in literature really sucks. And that's mostly because of the male authors who write female characters like they're nothing more than playthings in their stories. Whether they have breasts like ripe peaches or curves like a racetrack, the literary ladies gracing the pages of bestselling books rarely serve a purpose beyond supporting a male character (or giving him something to fantasize about).
In this hilarious yet incisive guide, you'll learn how to write women just like a bestselling male author―stereotypes, tropes, objectification, and all―so you can start dismantling the system from the inside. With thoughtful literary analysis, interactive exercises, and commentary that perfectly straddles the line between satirical hilarity and righteous indignation, A Tale of Two Titties is both an illuminating study of women's representation in literature and an absurd (yet accurate) guide to writing through the male gaze.
What People Are Saying
“Furiously funny and feminist, A Tale of Two Titties is your handy dandy guide to writing like a best-selling lit bro. Inspired by real life examples of outrageous published misogyny, Meg Vondriska will teach you how to craft prose that makes your readers wonder if they've ever even met a woman. This beautifully spiteful book never loses sight of the real world implications of the sexist tropes baked into our literary canon and dominating the best seller lists. I absolutely loved it.”
— Ella Dawson, author of But How Are You, Really
“A Tale of Two Titties is a masterful, tongue-in-cheek guide to writing women the way men do. You know, the kind of men who only see women as two-dimensional characters--and both dimensions are boobs.”
— Nicole Tersigni, author of Men to Avoid in Art and Life
“For years, Meg Vondriska's Men Write Women Twitter feed has used male writers' own inadvertently hilarious, often anatomically impossible descriptions of women to explore the pervasiveness of real-life sexism. A Tale of Two Titties is a chance to see her own incisive wit in action, and it never disappoints. I was going to write that this book made my ample bosom shudder with laughter, but I know better now.”
— Andi Zeisler, author of We Were Feminists Once
“An irreverent guide purporting to help women authors emulate the misogynistic literary stylings that propel male writers to the top of bestseller lists... A raucous send-up of the male gaze.”
— Publishers Weekly
“Anyone who's been a woman on the internet knows what misogyny looks like, and A Tale of Two Titties incisively captures the worst parts of the male gaze in all its cringe-worthiness, in a sharp and often-hilarious satire that invites readers to laugh, rage, and ultimately, demand better.”
— Taylor Lorenz, author of Extremely Online
“A Tale of Two Titties is a hilariously disturbing guide to writing women as confidently as a mediocre white man. I laughed at their ridiculous prose, I cried at all the ways sexist absurdity manifests in real life, and I contemplated the many objects seemingly capable of being compared to breasts. If you've laughed as hard as I have reading the @menwritewomen Twitter account all these years, you'll love Meg Vondriska's book.”
— Sophie Vershbow, Culture Writer
“Firing damning quotations like machine gun bullets, this is a take-no-prisoners assault on the male literary establishment and I was deeply grateful not to find any of my books in here.”